Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Conversation Candy Heart Complex

Ah...Valentine's Day. One of my favorite times of the year; but not because of the cupids and the love and the obligatory sex. No. It's the only time of the year that you can buy candy conversation hearts. And I love candy conversation hearts. A lot. (But they have to be the Brachs brand. But not the pink ones. Those are just gross.) I've gone through seven (yes, seven) bags since they came out. It's gotten to the point that my son has threatened to hide them from me. I'm very health conscious, so I don't allow my kids to eat too many. All that sugar and chemicals and dyes? No way. If I have to sacrifice my health for my children, I'll do that, no hesitation. Because that's what a mom does. It's been suggested that if I lack the will power to not eat them all, then maybe I should just not buy them. But that's ridiculous. I have the entire rest of the year to not buy them.

Oh, I do. I really, really do. Photo Credit

In elementary/middle school, when I'd get them for Valentine's, I'd stare at them, trying to decipher any hidden messages. "Sweet"...what does that mean? Does that mean that he thinks I'm sweet? Or is he just referring the the general state of the candy? "Be good"...well, what? What does that mean? I'm always good. He may have well just called me boring. "So fine"...oh, he thinks I'm fine? Like fine in cute, or fine, as in just OK? "Crazy for U"...he likes me, he really likes me! Or do I annoy him so much, it makes him crazy? "You rock"...I knew it. I knew I rocked. "No way"...wait, does that mean no way? Like no way? "LYLAS" you like a SISTER??  Hmph. He didn't look at these at all, did he?! He just dumped them in the bag! I knew he didn't really like me. His mom probably made him give Valentine's candy to everyone...and so on, and so forth. It's the only candy in existence that can give a girl an anxiety attack.  (I actually still have a bag that I kept from a middle school boyfriend. I'm still looking for the hidden message. And also, because I'm a hoarder.)

Now, they say things like "text me", "LOL", and "OMG".  The romance is gone. Of course, now that I'm an adult and more mature, the sayings no longer matter. I eat them so fast that I really don't have to time to read each one.


Cheryl @ said...

Too Funny. Hey, just don't try eating any of those Jr High ones . . . prob'ly not a great idea!

THX 4 stopping by my site. Love yours . . . so guess I now MUST follow.

Simply Stine said...

I loved this! I remember being so excited to get these back in the day!! Thanks for making me laugh today!
Visiting from #SITSBlogging

Corrie Blackmon said...

This was absolutely funny! Btw, I also love your explanation of "peeling an orange with a screwdriver". Classic!

Dee M said...

Too funny! I don't like the pink hearts either--they remind me of that nasty pink medicine. I love the yellow ones, though! Dee, visiting from SITS :)

Simply D Constructed said...

Haha what a funny post! I never really liked to eat those candy hearts, but I enjoyed reading them.

Visiting from the SITS Girls comment challenge #sitsblogging


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