Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Food Quirks

We all have our eating quirks, right?  Some of us don't like to eat in public. Some people don't like their food to touch. Some people don't like to eat at the Y. We all have our thing.

As a child I'd have to count how many times I chewed, because I just knew that I was going to choke and die and then I'd be forever known as the girl who choked and died on her chicken noodle soup/tacos/ice cubes/toothpaste/whatever.
Because we all know what they say about Mama Cass...

It would take me so long to eat that after several weeks of this, the rest of the family stopped waiting for me. They'd leave the table and shut the light out. I'd sit there in the dark, counting, and crushing every tiny potential choking hazard to mush. And looky there...I didn't choke. Doesn't sound so ridiculous now, does it?

But my youngest son...oh, he takes quirky eating to a new level. I think he has a lot of the typical 5 year old eating issues...his sandwich has to be cut right, his waffle has to have the exact right amount of syrup, his crackers cannot be broken, etc. etc. The breaking of these unofficial food rules will result in hysteria and tears. But I think that's pretty normal. Because kids are manipulative bastards.

But then we have his other issues, which appear and disappear, and are completely unpredictable. An innocent word can be said at the dinner table, maybe something like "feet", and he suddenly collapses onto the floor screaming about how he can't eat now. His brother and sister are the cultured variety of hellion, and they apparently like dinner and a show. So they start listing all the gross things they can think of.  "Toenails!" "Armpit!" "POOP!"  "Fart!" "Nick's face!" "Delaney's...um...socks!" "I hate you!" "Shut up!" "MOM!" But by then, the initial damage has been done, and he usually will refuse to eat.
Admittedly, her socks could be used in chemical warfare. Photo credit

Once he saw a dead bird, and wouldn't eat ground meat for a week.We had soup the other night and god forbid, I put pepper in it.
"Mom! There's a bug in here," he yells.
"No, it's just pepper."
"But it looks like a bug!"
"But it's pepper."
"But it looks like a bug. I CAN'T EAT NOW!"

Cue hysteria and tears.

24 comments:

Cynthia Banessa said...

This is so funny...love it!!!

Brian Miller said...

ha. luckily we are not that bad...but...no crust on sandwiches...for sure...and they used to each ketchup mixed with ranch dressing on everything...

alcard said...

Everyone of my family has eating quirks! I eat to much, my husband hates vegetables, my son still eats stage 4 baby foods because of sensory processing issues and my 20 year old step daughter eats anything she freaking wants and never gains a pound. (Little % €^/#!@)! Meal times is my greatest nemesis, you are not alone my friend!!

alcard said...

Everyone of my family has eating quirks! I eat to much, my husband hates vegetables, my son still eats stage 4 baby foods because of sensory processing issues and my 20 year old step daughter eats anything she freaking wants and never gains a pound. (Little % €^/#!@)! Meal times is my greatest nemesis, you are not alone my friend!!

Crystal Ponti said...

LOL Cute! Stopping by from SITS!

Diana said...

Oh my goodness. What a strange quirk. I know certain conversations can turn my stomach, but I don't think JUST a word would do it. Hopefully it's just a stage.

Cher-Ann Texter said...

My youngest loved catfish until we caught a couple and had them for dinner that night. That was the end of her catfish eating career! Thank you for sharing - that was hilarious (I feel for you!).

Daphne Beczynski said...

My daughter is similar to this but not to this extreme. Have you ever mentioned this to his pediatrician. I say this in the most respectful way, because my daughter and son both have it but, these are OCD behaviors. It sounds like your house is a riot though:-)

Dana Haddon said...

I don't like my food to touch on the plate. My family has offered to buy me a sectioned plate. :)

Lilac Doll said...

This is great! I used to be such a food freak, I couldn't stand the texture of potato and hated almost all veg, and a lot of meat. Luckily I eventually got over them all bit by bit, although it took me until I was well in my 20s!

Even now I like to have a bit of everything left on my plate for my last bite, I hate if I have no chips or mushroom to go with the last bit of steak!

denainspired.com said...

This is so funny. It sounds like a very amusing family dinner. #SITSBlogging

Clarissa Hooper said...

LOL_ I think I still eat like that!

Cynthia S. said...

My daughter had a few food quirks, which thankfully got better as she got older (she's 8 now), and other quirky things about belts and hair ties needing to be TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT. Yesterday she started to realize we were eating dead animals and I told her she could be a vegetarian. She liked the sound of it until she learned she couldn't eat bacon and other favorites. :) #SITSBlogging

Christie C said...

I definitely look for bugs everytime! :) #SITS

foody schmoody said...

Ugh, I have a 5 year old that won't eat and a 2 year old that has so many allergies and wants to eat everything she can't! We just can't win w/ kids, can we! #SITSBlogging

Cynthia Landrie said...

Oh my gosh, dinner at your house sounds pretty interesting! I think it could be one of those great TV shows! I am here from #SITSBlogging!

Eat Pray Run DC said...

I was a really picky eater as a kid. If it's any consolation, I grew out of it! #SITSBlogging

Christina Hecht said...

Sometimes I don't know who is worse, my son or the husband when it comes to food quirks. Of course if you ask the husband he would say I am the weirdest one. For example, whenever I have pancakes I end up tearing them up before putting syrup on them. I even do it *gasp* in public.
Stopping by from #SITSBlogging.

Willoughby said...

Kids are fun! My daughter isn't very picky, but my son is. There are so many things he won't eat that it drives me crazy. Did I mention he's 20? Years, not months. At 20 months, he wasn't picky at all. Go figure.

Davia Gorman said...

Quirks + Eating + Kids = adventure , headaches, tears, fusteration but I know that in the end They Live lol! Otherwise mine have to drink pediasure...hee hee!

#SITSBloggingLove

Debbie Tom said...

I'm a very slow eater which drives my very fast eating husband bonkers. I think it's from having to eat very slowly as a child and as a nurse at work I only had time for a bite here and there. Glad we all have our little quirks. #SITSBlogging love

Homemaker Man said...

So frustrating. You have a biological need to see them eat. And you don't want to freak out at them. I usually end up freaking out at them.

Homemaker Man said...

So frustrating. You have a biological need to see them eat. And you don't want to freak out at them. I usually end up freaking out at them.

Homemaker Man said...

So frustrating. You have a biological need to see them eat. And you don't want to freak out at them. I usually end up freaking out at them.

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