We’re trying to plan a vacation for this summer, and while I’m all for a week on the beach with alcoholic drinks, I do have to take into consideration the kids, and what they want. So...what do they want? They want to back to the scary, nearly abandoned “North Pole” amusement park in Colorado Springs. We went to a few years ago, and it was quite possibly one of the most bizarre places I’ve ever been. One good thing? There were no lines. No one else on the rides. My theory? The remaining guests were being slaughtered in Santa's Workshop.
Real life action shots of the "North Pole."
|This one is of obviously benign elves waving cheerfully, while their comrade smashes a prairie dog with a hammer.|
|Kids, remember Fluffy? Your beloved cat? Yeah? He didn't really go to live on that farm. Santa has him.|
|Nothing menacing here, run along now, run along. RUN!|
So, as charming as the North Pole was, we asked if they had any other ideas which really, in hindsight, was a stupid thing to do. "Disneyland! Yay!" The most magical (translation: expensive) place on earth. Of course. But I did some research...3 days at 1 park ticket. Can't be that bad. That's only...let's see...$209 under age 10...and HOLY HELL! For $1,093 our family of five could spend 3 blissful days in the park. But to be fair, it does include a "Magic Morning." (Quite frankly, I'd be just as happy with the "Magic Fingers" bed. After all, they just take quarters, right?) But, if we slept on park benches, and ate out of trash cans, I can see it.
Just need to check flights...William Shatner and I did some serious negotiating, and we came up with...$1,345.00. Really? Technically, if you look at the US map we're only about a couple of inches away from LA. That's like what? About $600 an inch? And personally? I've lost all respect for William. You know, I thought he was on my side. He seemed so...sincere. I thought he really cared. I'm starting to think he's just in it for the money.
That's as far as we've made it. Summer may be over before we decide on an mutually acceptable, reasonably priced vacation. I may just lock the kids out of the house for a few weeks, and tell them they're camping.