Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Made a Friend!

The lobby at Delaney's dance class is full of three different kinds of moms: there are the ones that sit together on one side of the room, talk loudly and avoid eye contact with anyone not in their yoga pant, designer purse-clad group. There are the moms that drop their kids off and make to the nearest exit as fast as they can. Then, there's the lepers. The moms that scrounge for whatever chair is leftover, or they sit on the floor at the back of the studio in their jeans and dole out goldfish crackers from non-designer diaper bags. The moms that are always late with the payment. The moms that never seem to "fit in".  You know, like me. Maybe it's because I'm always drunk. Hmm.

But anyway, today, I made a friend with a fellow leper.

When you stay at home with your children full time, meeting a new person with whom you might actually have something in common with is an event. A celebration. It's like a freakin' date. Do you ask for her phone number? Or does that make you sound too desperate? Will she think you're a stalker if you find her on Facebook and friend her? Should you follow her home, get her address and send her flowers? I just don't know...This friendship thing is hard.

Not that I'm completely anti-social. I do have friends. Just because no one can see them doesn't mean they aren't real. But believe it or not, I have real ones, too. I have several acquaintances and a few very close friends with whom I cannot imagine not having in my life. Friends who forgive me, no matter how bad of a friend I am. And I love them to pieces...but I've discovered that as an adult, for me anyway, making a true friend is really, really tricky. I don't know how to do it.

But today, I managed to control myself and after class, I resisted following my fellow leper home. Only because I know a restraining order would make it difficult to take Delaney to dance class. Maybe next week I'll just bring her a small gift...like a life-sized portrait of her, done in macaroni noodles. I'm sure I could get Delaney to help.

17 comments:

Little Miss Can't Be Wrong said...

oh goodness -- it's like a first date, all over again! i have no advice for you, i'm sorry. but best of luck!

alessandra said...

That seems a lot like high school, hmmm, I totally understand you on friends, when I meet someone I like, I can't behave ;)

Angela said...

totally understand.
ever since i started to stay at home with my son (and especially since getting pregnant with #2), i haven't really made any new friends.... AND i'm losing old ones at an alarming rate!

not only is it nearly impossible to have and hold and keep adult conversation when you're chasing toddlers around all day, but it's hard to find people by happenstance that you could actually get along with. sure, i see people all day long.. but i don't think it's appropriate to tackle somebody in the pickle aisle and ask for an 'all about me' page so i can see if we'd be good friends or not!

isn't it something, too, that when your older friends are at a different life stage than you, they disappear? all of my unmarried/non-parental unit friends are dropping like flies. hmm.

Homemaker Man said...

Dude. Cake-bust. No one can resist a cake-bust.

Willoughby said...

I'm so happy for you! It is hard to make friends as an adult. When my son was in elementary school I was part of the mom "in crowd". Not so with my daughter, I've been in the leper category since she was in preschool. I think the other moms are just jealous of our awesomeness, don't you?

Joy said...

Hahahaha!! That wouldn't be creepy at all...DO IT!!! ;)

I wish I could be a fellow leper mom with you :)

singedwingangel said...

Yeah see blogging makes it so simple, we can find whatever we need on your profile, blog, fb page and any other page lol. Real life is HARD ha.. good luck on the friend

Brian Miller said...

hehe. i think the macaroni picture may be a bit overboard...but if you do please let us know her reaction...smiles.

Tractor Mom said...

Just hang in there! Don't panic! Talk to her at the next practice but keep your cool! You two can start making fun of the preppy set!

AmyLK said...

I love new friends! And I always hope I don't stalk them too soon or wait too long so they think I'm not interested! So hard to balance that. Congrats and good luck!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

How wonderful to meet someone you have something in common with! I bet you will get chances to talk as you wait for classes to end.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I understand. Making new friends at any age is hard so when you find one that you know you'd hit it off with, it's hard not to go overboard.

The funny thing is that she is probably thinking the same exact thoughts. That's usually the case when a mutual friendship happens. You just know it!

Tiffeny said...

Oh Dawn this story is so sad...only because I can relate to it...No one at the dance studio will speak to me, probably because I continue to bring homework and try to avoid their ridiculous conversations about what they did while the nanny was working. Most of them won't even look my direction...I wonder if they are afraid...afraid that their conversations will seem empty and superficial once they find out what I do with my days...we are all people and making friends is hard for most of us, especially when we have more than one child to take care of and provide for...you are a good friend and even though we don't get together much you should know that. Thanks for sharing it was a great read, I laughed, cried, threw a temper tantrum, and then wondered "how come I can't write this well". :)

Tiffeny said...

Oh Dawn this story is so sad...only because I can relate to it...No one at the dance studio will speak to me, probably because I continue to bring homework and try to avoid their ridiculous conversations about what they did while the nanny was working. Most of them won't even look my direction...I wonder if they are afraid...afraid that their conversations will seem empty and superficial once they find out what I do with my days...we are all people and making friends is hard for most of us, especially when we have more than one child to take care of and provide for...you are a good friend and even though we don't get together much you should know that. Thanks for sharing it was a great read, I laughed, cried, threw a temper tantrum, and then wondered "how come I can't write this well". :)

Josh said...

I'm a stay at home dad (or a work from home and watch the kids dad) and NO ONE will talk to me. I've overheard a few of the "Yoga Pants" crowd's conversations, and believe me - you're not missing anything. Mostly recipes, shit-talking, and trying to one up each other as a mother. It was so cliched I couldn't believe I was really hearing it. I've met a few "normal" people through Vince's school and it's getting better.

Nezzy said...

Oh sweetie, don't stifle the chance and let a good friend slip though the cracks. Your both lepers right...come and go??? Ask her if she'd like to go grab a coke or run an errand with ya. Then if she's not your cup of tea just pick up your kids and go your separate ways!
Just sayin......... :o)

Ya'll have the most wonderfully blessed day!

Catherine Dabels said...

I have recently started to follow your blog because as I read some of your posts I thought, for a brief moment, that we might actually be the same person. As I read more, I see that we aren't but the resemblance is uncanny...... or scary. Not sure yet.

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