Thursday, September 23, 2010

When the Going Gets Tough...Guest post

This guest post is contributed by Alisa Gilbert, who writes on the topics of bachelors degree.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id:

 When the Going Gets Tough: How to Deal with Your Kids When They're Annoying You

No parent wants to admit it, but we all know deep down inside that our young children aren't the little angels we talk about when we update our relatives on the phone. While your kids may not exactly be holy terrors, there will inevitably be moments when it seems that they're making a career out of testing your nerves. The constant questions, the whining, the poking, prodding, car-seat kicking all comes with the parenting territory, and we must, of course, suck it up and deal with it. Here are a few ways to maintain your sanity.

1. Think twice before exploding.

It's easy to want to snap when your children are driving you up the wall. However, remember that while you cannot control an external situation, you can control how you react to it. Sometimes the best way to diffuse a situation is by keeping your cool. If you find yourself about to yell, take a deep breath and count to ten in your head. You'll be much better prepared to deal with rambunctious tykes if you have taken a few moments to calm yourself down.

2. Talk to your kids as if they were adults.
As adults, we often don't give kids the credit they deserve. Sure, they can be annoying, but many times childish behavior results from talking down to your kids. If you instead talk to them as if they were mini adults, you'd be surprised by how adult-like they can be.

3. Sometimes its better to let them carry on until they tire themselves out.

If you're a parent of young kids, chances are you are something of a control freak. A situation gets out of hand and the first thing you want to do is to make it stop immediately at whatever cost. Whether it's whining because they aren't getting their way or teasing and poking a sibling, you want to stop bad behavior before it gets out of hand. Sometimes, as parents, we have to face the fact that we must pick our battles. Kids will be kids, and we can't expect everything to go our way either. Save yourself future ulcers, and let them do their thing until they realize they aren't going to get anywhere acting as such. They'll eventually tire themselves out. Trust me.

4. Be reasonable in the face of irrationality.
It's tempting to want to fight irrational behavior with threats or "because-I-said-so" proclamations. While these may work some of the time, more often than not they only serve to escalate situations. Related to tip number two, by maintaining a voice of mature reason, you are subtly influencing your kids to imitate how you behave. Kids learn exponentially faster and more effectively by example, not words.
While every mom and dad has a different parenting style, the most important thing to remember when your tots are being annoying is that they are young children. And we should enjoy them as they are while we can, because before long they will develop into completely different creatures with different challenges. In the blink of an eye, they will be teens, and then we will wish for that annoying tantrums were all that we had to worry about.


Brian Miller said...

some interesting thoughts...the one on treating them like adults can be easily misinterpretted...not sure i agree with that one...

Sharlene T. said...

Great article. Totally agree on treating children with respect and speaking to them as adults... children rise to the level you expect of them. It's usually the control freaks who won't let their children grow up and become independent... you're on the right track...


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