Saturday, May 29, 2010

Kid quotes


"When I'm grown up and have a wife, we are going to have Happy Meals for lunch everyday."

"I have a lot of memories in my head. I wish I could get them all out."


Said while dumping rocks out of her shoes...
"I have earth in my shoes!"

Watching me change the sheets on my bed.
"Did you pee in your bed?" she asks.
"No...daddy has been really sick and got hot and sweaty at night, so I'm just putting fresh sheets on."
" you get hot and sweaty in bed, too?"


Friday, May 28, 2010

He's home!

This morning, Nick opened the door to let our dog out and Leo ran in the house so fast, he nearly knocked Nick down. He's been gone nearly a week and he was extremely freaked out. He howled for the first ten minutes he was home then hid under our bed. Poor guy. I have no idea where he's been. He looks ok; a little skinny and a lot dirty, but no blood. I had feared he had become a coyote snack. So, so glad he's home. He's been outside in near record winds, torrential rain and a hailstorm. I bet he doesn't go outside again...

Happy kids, happy cat!
Thanks for all your well wishes! :)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Coupon Chief Review

When asked to do a review for, I got excited. Yes, it's just coupons. But really, coupons! I love coupons. I love saving money. I've gotten to the point where I always make sure there isn't an online coupon of some sort when I shop. Before I hit the "checkout" button, I google coupon codes first and about half the time, I find one. Why pay more than you have to, right?

CouponChief has one of the largest coupon databases on the Internet with over 50k coupons for over 15,000 stores. Think of all the pennies you could save! And their are coupons available for stores ranging from Target  to Advanced Auto Parts! You can find everything on here! The site layout is easy to read and well laid out.You can find coupons using their tags, or by searching the store. They even offer a Pays-2-Share program where you can make money off of coupons that you find and submit. I was also impressed with their Coupons-4-Causes:
"With Coupons-4-Causes, you can help support your favorite cause every time you shop. Just use our coupons for your online shopping, and we'll donate up to 20% of the purchase to your favorite charity, school, or church."
How cool is that? I can see myself spending a lot of time on this site in the near future.

For more information, they even offer a tutorial on how exactly their website works. You can find it here.

I did receive monetary compensation for this review, however the words and opinion are my own.

Pet Pic Contest!

This is possibly my favorite picture, ever. This was taken several years back, when Delaney was just a baby. Leo adored her. And the feeling was mutual. Of course, they got along better when Delaney was asleep...

Unfortunately, this past weekend Leo disappeared. He's a strictly inside cat and I have no idea how he got out, or where he went. The kids and I went around putting posters up, I've run ads in the papers, and made obsessive calls to the Humane Society, to no avail. We've covered a lot of ground in our search. The kids are crushed. Losing a pet is hard.

Hopefully, he will turn up soon.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Waa, waa, waa...

For the past year, I've been taking a parent-tot dance class with Delaney. She's old enough to join the no parent-tot class, but she likes me with her, which I will admit, makes me feel pretty good. I'll cherish these moments while I have them. During class we stick our feet together with "peanut butter and jelly" to do butterfly stretches and we make invisible pizzas during the straddle stretch. We do an obstacle course. We do "Wheels on the Bus" with a parachute and I "waa waa waa" like the baby and I "beep beep beep" like the horn. I even lay on the floor under the parachute at the end of the song with the 3 other tots and moms in the class. And that's all well and good.

Then this weekend, we had the recital. All the tumbling classes put on a circus themed production for parents, assorted relatives, family and various strangers. The older kids did acrobatics and jumped through flaming hoops, the younger kids stuck their heads into the mouths of ferocious lions. It's a small town. That's just what we do here. But most terrifying of all? Delaney's group had to do "Wheels on the Bus". And I had to do it with her.

In front of a gymnasium of  people.

A lot of people.

I had to lay on the floor, with a parachute tucked under my chin like a blanket and pretend to cry like a baby.

In front of a gymnasium of people.

A lot of people.

Waa, waa, waa.

We were the opening act and I was far more nervous than Delaney was. I used to ditch class to avoid having to do an oral report. For days, if need be.  I remember once in high school I was called up to participate in a pep rally and I fled the bleachers in a panic and hid out in the locker room. On our honeymoon in Tahiti, my husband and I were watching a dance performance and when they made all the women there get out on the stage, I walked down with the rest of the ladies then veered right and hid in the bathrooms. My poor husband, who had yet to discover what a lunatic he had married, came to find me. He stayed with me and watched the rest of the performance from the bathroom entrance. All the nice Hula dancers thought I must be pregnant.

But I digress...unfortunately, none of the aforementioned evasive maneuvers were an option at the dance recital. So, I just did it. I just got up there and did it. Kids make you do things you never thought possible and it all starts the minute you shove them out of that impossibly small exit between your legs.

I may have done it, but I didn't enjoy it. And every time we stopped it seemed like my rear end was facing the audience. Of course.

"I tried to take pictures," said my mom, after the performance. "But all I got was your butt."

And on to something cuter...

Ain't she adorable? She had a blast and with any luck I hid my terror at being there and she will never have to know how truly unstable her mother is.

I can't wait until the next recital...

Friday, May 21, 2010 hurts.

Several weeks ago, we attended the funeral of a friend and although she had health problems all her life, her death came as a surprise. 43 is just too young. And she left a 7 year old daughter behind. My friend Daffy is currently dealing with a tragedy of her own, involving her sister who has a young child. My heart breaks for these children who have lost (or may lose) their moms and for the families involved. I can't imagine losing my mom at such a young age. Even now, my mom is my best friend. Where would I have been without her to guide me all those years? I know my life would have been drastically different. And the thought of leaving my own children behind makes my chest ache. Missing their first days of school, first crushes, graduations, weddings. Of course, there's all the big stuff, but the there's the little things, too. The hugs and sticky kisses, the handmade cards that stick to the envelope from all the glue. Wiggly teeth and dance classes. T-Ball and birthdays. The hysterical giggling over a ridiculous joke they made up. ("Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could have chicken nuggets!" -Insert hysterical laughter here-)

Hearing about losses like these make me contemplate my own mortality. If I were to die, what would my children remember about me? Would Nick remember us playing out front, me teaching him to ride his bike? Playing Candyland by his rules, playing army? Or would he remember all the time outs and yelling? Would Delaney remember playing "mom, dad and baby" or "doctor/dentister" with me? Would she remember the times we played dolls? Or would she just remember the times we fought and all the frustrated crying? Would Sam remember anything at all? What if my husband remarried? Would he marry Mary Poppins, or the Super Nanny? Or would he take the skanky, bleach blond with the inflated boobs he meets at a bar? How would she raise my children? Would they call her "mom"? Could I come back and haunt her?

I know that nothing is promised to us, that there is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow. It makes me want to hug my children tightly to me. To hold on so tight, that they can't get away from me. I want to hold on so tight that time stops, and we're all together, forever, our happy little family, sticky kisses, frustrated crying and all.

And my heart breaks for you, Daffy and your family. Thinking of you and hoping for the best.

Sunday, May 16, 2010


As a huge fan of children's literature and horror novels, I have become enamored with Kinderscares. This blog has author interviews and entertaining reviews of your, shall we say...less traditional... books for kids. They've turned me on to books I didn't know existed for children.

And they were kind enough to do a guest post for me. So after reading here, I dare you to immediately run to the Kinderscares blog and read some more there. 

Unless you're too afraid...

Little known fact: for every kid who begs for a nice peaceful bedtime story, there’s a kid who wants a tale of things that go bump in the night.  Okay, maybe the ratio’s not quite 1:1, but there are some tiny monster-lovers out there!  We have one (and a second in training), and it’s been quite an adventure.  Our hard-won expertise in the realm of ‘scary’ children’s books begat KinderScares (I never thought I’d find an excuse to use the word ‘begat’ in a blog post - this is truly a momentous occasion!), a blog dedicated exclusively to horror in children’s literature.
Don’t think you’re in need of our expertise?  Not so fast!  Here are some clues you may be raising future horror fiends:
 1.  Your kid goes to sleep with a Jack Skellington nightlight (because who wouldn’t enjoy a glowing skull face plugged into the wall when they’re trying to sleep?)
2.   The little undead dudes from your Zombies!!! board game get played with more than Barbies.
3.   Every so often you turn around to find your one-year-old pushing a two-foot Frankenstein down the hall in a doll stroller.
4.  Your five-year-old’s most prized article of clothing is an Alice Cooper t-shirt (bonus points if he/she walks around creepily singing ‘Welcome to My Nightmare’ every so often).
5.  Edgar Allan Poe keeps mysteriously finagling his way into the bedtime reading pile (enough times that Daddy has declared a moratorium on The Bells.  No.  More.  Bells.).
6.  Along with “Cows say moo” and “Dogs say woof”, your toddler announces that “Zombies say BRAAAAAAINS!!!”
7.  Dracula is invited every time there’s a tea party, even though the jerk never shows up.
8.  You regularly find notes like this lying about the art area: 
That doesn’t happen to you?  Okay, maybe it’s just us.  But if you’re looking for some awesome children’s books - or even just a few laughs - we hope you’ll stop by KinderScares and say boo!  Not literally...although if this guest post begets (ha! got begat AND begets in there!) a pile of comments that just say ‘boo!’, I suppose I can live with that.
Last but certainly not least, a million thanks to the fantastic Peeling An Orange With A Screwdriver for having us, it’s been a blast!

No, no, thank you! It's been a pleasure!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Flashback Friday: Prom 1994

16 years ago today, I was getting ready for senior Prom. It almost hurts to say that. 16 years. 16 YEARS. Maybe I figured that wrong. That can't be right...let's see...1994 to 2010. That's only like...oh, 16 years. Hmmm. Anyway, Prom. It's a big deal when you're 17, even for someone who didn't like school dances, like me. I liked the idea of dressing up all fancy-like, and going out to dinner with my handsome boyfriend, who also happened to be celebrating his birthday that day which is why I remember the exact date. (Happy Birthday, K. I'll be thinking of you today.) I had the perfect dress, the perfect sparkly jewelry... We had dinner at the Greenbriar Inn in Boulder, where I had a rather revolting dessert that involved feta cheese. Then we headed to his Prom. We walked in, had our pictures taken, turned around and walked back out to his car. Then we drove. We headed up the hill and drove around the back roads. We stopped and may have made out a bit. I'm not admitting to anything. We drove around some more. We laughed and talked.We drove around. We might have made out some more. Until about 4 am.  All in all, it was a successful Prom, without any of that actual "Prom" nonsense.

A few weeks ago, my mom gave me a stack of pictures that she had taken that night.


And here I am, with my date (whose identity has been concealed so that he may maintain his International Man of Mystery persona. I wouldn't want to compromise his cover.) I'm pleased to say that I can look at this picture without cringing. The hair could use some help, but my dress really isn't that dated. My husband went to Prom in the late 80s and his date's dress is a monstrous, pastel confection of ribbons and bows, lace, ruffles, poufs and unnecessary bits of fabric. And her hair! Tee hee hee. Snicker. But anyway, I wouldn't sink so low as to make fun of someone for their poor hair or clothing choices. I'm above making fun of others. Ahem.

I had flipped through the remaining pictures and found one of my dad, in his underwear sitting at the counter with a chisel.

"Um. Mom?" I ask. "I don't think this one should be in here."

"Oh, yes it should," she said. "That was taken that night at about 3 am. You still weren't home so your dad decided to get up and re-grout the kitchen counter."


This terrifies me. I know what teenage girls and boys do. Before I know it, I will be the one sitting up all night, hopefully not re-grouting anything, but worrying, just the same. Sitting up at night while my babies are out on dates with members of the opposite sex (or of the same, I guess time will tell.). Kissing and...other stuff. 

Chastity belts are sounding better and better. And what about the boys? Do they have something for them? Penis...inhibitors... or something. Hmm. Might have to look into that.


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