Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Damn you, Pink. Damn you.

This afternoon, I loaded the kids into the car and we headed to my parent's house. It's about an hour away, so I can always count on all three of them to take a little nap. Even the most stubborn children cannot stay awake when faced with the sleep inducing effects of a nice, warm car..the lolling back and forth... the mid afternoon sun streaming through the window... watching the snowcovered fields blur past your window. See, you're getting tired aren't you? Never fails...

So, kids are asleep and I stick a Pink CD in and crank it up. Normally, I don't care for pop music, but I like her.



She looks like she'd be fun to hang out with, dontcha think? She would do all the crazy stuff and I'd be the designated driver. Her music is fun to sing to and since the children are unable to tell me to stop, I was singing along, at the top of my lungs...

"...you talk real loud but you ain't saying nothing cool
I could fit your whole house in my swimming pool..."

I'm sounding damn good, lamenting the fact that I'm too old for American Idol. I'd blow them away with my version of Pink. I'd need some kind of gimmick though...what could I do? Colored hair extensions? A real funky outfit? Like a signature jacket, or...oh...crap. Crap. Cop. I hit the brakes like I'm guilty. Glance at the speedometer...55 miles an hour...Crap. Speed limit...35 miles an hour...CRAP. I can't get much guiltier. Maybe he's on lunch break and didn't see...oh. He sees me.





He pulls in behind me and I contemplate speeding up. Could my old suburban outrun his patrol car? There's no way he could catch me once we were on those icy back roads! Then I see the newspaper headline: MOM ATTEMPTS TO OUTRUN COP WITH KIDS IN CAR and beneath that there's a picture of me in handcuffs. And really, my hair is kind of crappy and I don't want anyone taking my picture. So, I pull over. (Even though sometimes I think a few weeks in a nice jail cell, all alone, would be quite nice.)

Mr. Cop saunters up to my car and holds his radar gun out at me. 55.

"You were going 55 in a 35 mile an hour zone," he says.

"Uh..." was my clever response.

"Why?" he asks.

"I was singing," I say. Yes, really. Mr. Cop laughed at me.

"Nothing wrong with that. Can I see your license and registration?" I frantically dig through my glove box. I have registrations from the past 5 years. I have insurance slips from 5 years ago. Of course, I can't find the current one. He takes the slips from last year and goes back to his car.

Nick wakes up.

"Why are we stopped?"
"Because a cop pulled me over."
"Oh. Where you going too fast?"
"Yep."
"Oh. Is he getting you a receipt?"
"Um...yeah. A receipt."

Cop comes back. Cop gives me a ticket. My very first ticket, EVER in my entire good girl life. He explained that it was originally a 6 POINT ticket and a much larger fine, but he put it down to 44 in a 35, 1 point and a $120 fine. Thank you Mr. Cop. I think.

"Drive safe now."

I turned Pink off. It's her fault. If I were listening to say...Nine Inch Nails, I probably wouldn't have been singing or fantasizing about being famous. So, actually Pink is to blame here. I'm going to send her the ticket. $120 is nothing to her, right? For me, that's like my weekly grocery money.

Then, on the way home tonight, I saw a deer get hit by a truck. That's an image I could do without, thank you. It brought back horrific memories of a car vs. buck incident that I had the misfortune to witness as a child. I'll spare you.

Uh huh. Good day to be on the roads. Think I'll be staying in tomorrow.

53 comments:

r u s s said...

I agree, it's Pink's fault.Ü
But I enjoyed reading your post about your day's adventures. Pink should stay home next time. Have a good day dear.

Michele said...

Sorry to hear about the smear on your perfect driving record. Pink's fault ~ absolutely!!

"(Even though sometimes I think a few weeks in a nice jail cell, all alone, would be quite nice.)" ~ totally made me snort.

June said...

I have a short history with speeding tickets. I had been driving for 15 years and never got a ticket then I get 3 speeding tickets within 1 year.
WTH?

Send the ticket to Pink.

Homemaker Man said...

Guy must've not been a pink fan. At least you got a receipt.

Daffy said...

I love Pink!

Laughter is a good thing...when dealing with cops...as long as they are laughing I mean. If you laugh at them it tends to escalate the situation a bit.

One ticket? I'm proud of you.

There was a short time where I must've had a bullseye on me. I KNOW I didn't deserve all 4 of them...yes 4...within 2 weeks...it was expensive to say the least.

Lesson learned?

No

Brian Miller said...

ugh. i have too many receipts...wish i could blame them on Pink.

SparkleFarkle said...

Definitely NOT Pretty In Pink. I guess just thank your lucky stars that you weren't singing the same song as that poor deer! *Raises morning cup of coffee* Here's to the day (and "receipt") that should have been!

Lindsey said...

I crank up the music when I drive too. Specially when Pink is on! I am sure she would love to pay your "receipt" for you. Since her pool is so large she can fit peoples homes in it!

mrs_muffins said...

I've thought that before too... jail. Haha. Glad you got a decent cop... my first two tickets were from nice cops that "lied" for me. Yeah, first two... there's been more. But ever since I about killed myself in a wreck, I've been the perfect driver :)
xx

Raelene said...

Wow!! Your FIRST ticket, good for you! I'm on, oh, 8 or 9. I talked myself out of a ticket though once by acting all girlie and giggly...lol.
I love Pink too, but I agree, it's totally her fault. Damn her.

BigSis said...

My son was in the car with my dad when he got his last ticket. It was HYSTERICAL to hear described through the eyes of a nine year old!

Nahl said...

Hahahahah omG this is hilaious.
"I was singing"-how cuuute!
And, the kids were sleeping and you cranked it up? Mean! :P

Molly said...

love, love, LOVE P!nk! She's the best to run to. I love how you were so honest with the cop.

I just got my first speeding ticket a year ago! I was going 81 in a 65...I would have gotten points by my lawyer friend got me out of it, but not the $180 fine!!! That same weekend I got a parking ticket outside my sister's apartment, and a letter from EZ Pass saying I was going too fast though a toll and if I did it again I'd be toast. Pricey weekend huh?

Sissy said...

Pink is so cool, she'd probably have a good laugh at your expanse and then pay the ticket for you. Worth a shot, right?

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

You know, I've never had a ticket either? I probably just cursed myself now!

I'm glad the cop was so nice, I've found that honesty really is the best policy, people appreciate when you're not trying to jerk them around.

And you should definitely send Pink a copy of the ticket with this story attached. Ya never know...

Ali (OneChicMommy) said...

I love Pink, her voice is awesome! It was definitely her fault! Good music always makes me speed so now I usually turn the music down low so I don't get to excited, start daydreaming, and then speeding, Lol.

panamamama said...

Yeah, send her the ticket. Especially if a whole house can fit in her swimming pool. She can afford it! :)

Tiffany said...

ugh...that suuuucks! at least he knocked it way down. a friend of mine got pulled over while doing more than 20 over the speed limit and the price tag was not pretty.

3LittleMonkeys said...

It's totally Pink's fault!
I got pulled over once by a cop and needless to say, it was sooooo embarassing!

Busted Kate said...

Man, not such good luck on the roads! I'm so sorry you got a ticket, but I'm not sorry that you rocked out to Pink. I rock out to her too, and it probably just by sheer chance I haven't gotten pulled over doing the exact same thing.

Oh well, traffic school and you'll be good as new. At least he cited you civil rather than criminal, and didn't cite you for not having insurance. So that is sort of lucky?

Deb said...

okay, yes, i have considered voluntary imprisonment myself. don't rule it out next time. however, good thinking about the mugshot part. maybe we should get all dolled up and get some glamor shots taken to have on hand, should we ever proceed with the voluntary imprisonment plan. "oh no need to bother with taking my mugshot, mr. officer... i brought my own!"

i can't believe $120 was the less expensive ticket!

The Wifey said...

I love her music. I really can't blame you. I ran a traffic light belting out showtunes from Wicked once and got pulled over. My ticket was $85. Fun times. :)

--Tumbleweed said...

1. I love Pink, in like a girly crush sort of way. So I get exactly what you mean.

2. I don't know why but cops hate me. Seriously. I think I must be accidently belligerent.

Janie B said...

Oops! Don't you hate it when that happens? Especially when the kids are with you. Then you have to act all guilty and sorry. Ha!

otin said...

I wonder what the cop was listening to? Probably "I fought the law and the law won" lol

Susan Fobes said...

At least you got a cop with a sense of humor. Maybe he likes Pink too?

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

oh have I done that before... so much easier to go faster when your singing your lungs out!!

Audra said...

Aww! Dang the luck. On a funny side, I was pulled over once by Highway Patrol because they thought I was having a seizure while driving.

I was singing and "dancing" to Shake Your Booty, by KC and the Sunshine Band, to my son and triplet nieces and nephew.

I got a warning because my son and nephew had "Somebody in Law Enforcement Loves Me" (my father).

When I told the cop I was singing to entertain four crabby three year olds, he asked what I was singing. So...I told him. Then I added "Doncha just love KC and the Sunshine Band"? He replied... "More than life itself". I think he was being sarcastic...

Sorry about the deer incident. I really hate to see that stuff.

My name is PJ. said...

Been there. Done that. Did. Not. Get. The. Point. And. Fine. Reduction.

Now I only listen to Perry Como when I drive.

JennyMac said...

Pink is a highly bad influence and I have been known to exceed speed limits when listening to her song "Trouble."

Sorry about your receipt. LOL.

ANd I voted for you today on Babble! :)

Molly said...

btw,I tagged you in a meme...

kys said...

Your first ticket? Really? I've had more than I can count. Chalk it up to my wild and reckless youth. And 20's. I settled down once I got knocked up.

blueviolet said...

How could Pink do that to you? But, it made the cop laugh when you told the truth. Love that!

I can't believe you've just had one ticket in your life!

Angie Muresan said...

I had to pause when I read about spending a week in a jail cell. You'd certainly catch up on all your beauty sleep, no wouldn't you?

WhisperingWriter said...

Oops!

That's why I can't sing in the car either, I find I speed too. Or the cop would pull me over for my off key voice and be all, "Ma'am, you're disturbing the peace."

Life Laugh Latte said...

Girls just want to have f-u-un! She could pass for a cute Cindy L...don't you think? Nice of him to lower the penalty. Sorry for the killjoy moment. Keep singin...Holly

Mrsblogalot said...

Pink is a badass and obviously a bad influence. Go ahead bill her!

I'm sure she is used to the receipts(-;

Sarah said...

Well you've done pretty well, I think, if this is your first speeding ticket! I got my first driving through Ohio about three years ago - those long straight highways - there's really nothing you can do BUT speed!

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

I want to know how to get kids to sleep in a car....mine wont. EVER.

Sorry about the ticket. I think Pink should pay it.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

I LOVE Pink. But I totally agree. It is her fault. You should completely send her a copy of your ticket, and your blog entry and see if she gets back to you. She seems so cool, who knows, maybe she will?

Next time listen to someone like Sarah Brightman. ;)

Debbie said...

I'd mail that ticket straight to Pink and demand she pay it. Since it was her fault and all.

Matty said...

I have "Get This Party Started" assigned to my wife on my cell phone. It starts playing when she calls me. It's my wife's theme song.

P.S. Slow down!!

tattytiara said...

I once accidentally led a cop on a car chase. Honest - I was so lost in my brain I thought he wanted to get around me, so I kept speeding up to get out of his way!

PS I don't know if the laws about this are different in different places, but I accidentally handed the cop the wrong year's registration form and he told me it was illegal to keep the old ones? Let me off with a warning on that one, but yeah, that would be a ticket it would suck to get!

Amo said...

Oh no! So sorry about your ticket! I sing and lose control when singing sometimes too. Although, I kinda drive like an old lady...below the speed limit. My husband hates riding with me. I get distracted really easily since I lost all my brain cells by becoming a mommy, so I have to drive slooooow. I can't talk on the phone or do anything while driving.

Veronica Lee said...

OMG! This is too funny! I love Pink too.

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

pink is from philadelphia like me. She'll kill you. for real.

mudmama said...

I love how you'd be the designated driver! Yup, it is all her fault :)
Tagged ya in a meme, by the way

Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did anyone learn that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.
[url=http://amazon.reviewazone.com/]Patricia[/url]

Kimberly said...

I got a ticket last year. The police officer gave me a moving violation instead of a speeding ticket.

I am a new follower of yours.

suzicate said...

Getting into your song takes concentration...at least Mr. Cop sorta got that. With my one and only speeding ticket, my sons was telling the cop please give my mommy a ticket! (too much tv, I guess!) and then once I got it said oooh, Daddy's gonna be MAD at you! In hindsight, maybe I could have used a night of peace and quiet!!!

Erin said...

Well, I'm sorry this happened, but I'm kind of snickering at the same time b/c it's only your first ticket. I've gotten 3 or 4 in my life. All listening to music LOUDLY in my car, etc...fortunately none with my kiddos in the car. I did get a warning a few months ago or so, so I felt lucky then....

Flory said...

I only get to sing out loud in my car when I'm alone. Sounds like you were really enjoying Pink - I like her music too. I agree, mail her the ticket. :)

Neva said...

This post is so insanely like a what happened to me a month ago it is uncanny! Speeding, kids quiet-but-not-asleep rushing them to my moms so I can get to an dr appt and 65 in a 45! Doh!! Kids ask a million questions as I nervously pray that he is just taking a long time writing out a warning- NOPE! Two tickets! One for speeding one for not having current insurance- that's because I too had 5 years worth of insurance cards BUT not the recent one. THe one I so clearly remember forcing in my husbands hand so he would put it in his car...but alas I didn't put mine in my car....Thanks for sharing. I love Pink too.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails