Monday, December 7, 2009

All dressed up with somewhere to go!

This weekend was the Christmas party.

Christmas parties seem to be an excuse for people to get drunk and stumble around, but despite that and my hatred of crowds and small talk, I always kind of look forward to it because I get to dress up. I can put my fancy underpants on, slip into a dressy dress and strap on my party heels. All dressed up with some place to go. I can even wear jewelry because I won't be carrying around a small person who would be trying to eat my earrings. (And when my husband starts chewing on them, I know it's time to head home.) I take the time to fix my hair and put on my "evening makeup". My husband even changes out of his normal t-shirts and puts on a shirt that actually has buttons. Oh yeah. We look hot.



My brother and his fiance watched the kids for us, so I knew they'd get plenty of ice cream and Pepsi and maybe dinner, if they had room. And all those loud, obnoxious toys that I secretly take the batteries out of and then say are broken? Well, I knew they'd be "fixed" when we got home. And the kids know this too, so of course, they couldn't wait for mommy and daddy to leave. Nick woke up that morning, wanting to know if we were leaving yet. There is nothing like the love of a child to make you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

My hubby does the majority of the presentation at these parties; the awards, the thank yous, all that good stuff and I never cease to be amazed at him. He can stand up there in front of 60 people and whip this speech out of his...head...and never miss a beat. He's eloquent and funny. He is an excellent communicator. Yet, he can't write a letter. I am the exact opposite. I couldn't do a speech to save my life. I skipped days and days of school to avoid doing oral reports and that's something I never really outgrew. Even with the words written in front of me, I'd stutter, blush, choke, gag, mispronounce, wet myself and then pass out. But I can write. I just can't speak. Woof.

The other good thing about these parties is the food. It's always good. But what makes it amazing is the fact that I didn't have to cook it.

At past parties, I've been stuck at tables where the main topic of conversation was porn texts, complete with show and tell, but this time I ended up seated next to a few of my favorite people there. And I'm embarrassed to admit that I had a giggle attack with a fellow party goer during my husband's speech. I felt about 14 years old, sitting in the back of math class, getting a stern look from the teacher. (Sorry hon, we weren't laughing at you...)

Last year there was genital grabbing, bad karaoke and one notable guest bared her ample bosom to show of her nipple rings. This year, however, the bar bill was several thousand dollars (Yes. I said thousands.) less than it was last year, so the behavior was much more respectable and much less blog worthy.

However, my husband and I were propositioned by a swinging couple.



We politely declined then got in the car and stared at each other.

"Did what I think happen just now, really happen?"
"I think so."
"God no."
"Exactly."

We went home. And all the kids were sleeping in their own beds. (This is where the fancy underpants come in.) So we had sex in our own bed. Which was very exciting for us...there is usually a child in our bed, so when we want to...you know...we have to get creative.

"Oh come, all thee faithful..."

Ah, yes. The Hoildays are officially upon us.

37 comments:

When did I become my Mom said...

I love reading your posts..... I feel like I was there. :-)

Not for the sex part. Cos that would be just weird and I'd never be able to talk to you again.

But the other stuff. Especially the schoolgirl giggling. :-)

Tagged you on my site! Check it out...

Buckeroomama said...

It's always a treat to get dressed up and go out with just hubby. Sounds like your evening was a success. ;p

Molly said...

So freaking funny, on many levels, and I can't believe you laughed during your husbands' speech!

I tagged you in a christmas meme....

The Waylaid Wordsmith said...

Sounds like fun! But now I want to hear the tale of last year's party.

Michele said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!!
Sounds like a wonderful evening!! Fancy panties and all ;)
(except for the swinging thing) LOL

Lindsey said...

Hey to be asked by that couple must have made you feel like a pretty hot couple! Good for you guys!!
Happy Holidays :)

BigSis said...

I love that having sex in your own bed is exciting. Didn't you think that when we grew up that would be a given?

blueviolet said...

My husband and I are exactly like the two of you. He can speak off the cuff and does so brilliantly. I can't do it to save my life.

People just throw swinging proposals out in the air like that? This is a brave new world we live in.

Noelle said...

wooohoooo! on the sex with your husband in your own bed thing. without kids. and other anonymous people. like i said, woooohooo!

Joshua said...

'Tis truly a wonderful thing when the bed only has two people in it and no one's crying from another room.

Sublime.

-Joshua

3LittleMonkeys said...

Ohhh...I love getting dressed up and going out, without kids! My hubby's Xmas party is this weekend. I even bought a new outfit for it!
Glad you enjoyed your "entire" evening!

That One Mom said...

Looking good, Dawn. Looking good!

Daffy said...

WHoot! you jingled Santa's balls...er..bells!

Look at you all glamorous!

Matty said...

You both look great. Glad the evening went so well.

I'm not bad at public speaking, but wayyyyyy better at writing.

Enjoy the holidays.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

You both look fantastic!!!!!
hugs hugs

Christine said...

Merry SITSmas to you!! You and hubby do look pretty hot!
I thought we only ran in circles where the folks pass around porn texts...sheeesh, what's the world coming to?!?!
We've never gotten propositioned, though....wow. I swear that I would've bust out laughing...:D

Willoughby said...

Sounds like a fun night. The last time we got dressed up was for a funeral (and strangely, we were overdressed, most everyone else was in jeans).

The swinging couple is just weird. Who does that?

Sarah said...

Sounds like fun! You guys look nice all dressed up. We have our first (and I think maybe only) Christmas party next week. Can't wait to get dressed up either!

Amo said...

Wow, last year's party sounded entertaining! You guys looked great! I like Christmas parties too so I can dress up. As a SAHM, I never get to dress up. Dressed up to me is wearing jeans instead of sweatpants when I go to the grocery store. Putting an actual dress on? That is unheard of.

Unknown Mami said...

Wow, these parties sound wild!

Holly said...

That is quite a party - sound like one of my family weddings - all of it! The last two companies my hubby worked for went to employees only day time party to ward off such parties (Oh, and because two jobs ago the CEO was having an affair with an employee and he didn't want his wife there!). Your story was great from beginning to end!

UberGrumpy said...

Wow! I've obviously been going to the wrong parties.

We usually end up playing charades, and that's about as hot as it gets

Mrsblogalot said...

Wow! What an awesome evening and you two are gorgeous btw!

I so love a happy ending (even though you know I was hoping for some action with the swinging couple...maybe next year?)

Thanks for sharing this wonderful night with us!

Angie Muresan said...

Well tell us more about last year's party! Girl, I know what you mean about public speaking.

Stefany said...

Love it! Kids sure are some loving creatures sometimes aren't they? I am glad you had a good time!

Carol said...

I am sooooo jealous! Ward needs fixing, I think he is broken!

Conquer The Monkey said...

that is the PERFECT way to end a party, you know you look hot when the swingers are pawing at you!!! LOL!!!

otin said...

Oh come all ye faithful! LMAO!!!

I can't speak in public either. I have to write!

kys said...

You guys were too hot! Propositioned by swingers and everything. Very impressive.

Heidi said...

Ha ha! That was quite the story even if you thought it wasn't blog worthy!
I cannot believe that you really got hit on by a swinging couple and if that picture doesn't bring to mind a thousand things, your story sure did.
Thanks for the laugh!
And thanks for the visit today!

Busted Kate said...

Here's me reading your post: Mmmmhmmm, sounds nice, you guys look great!, love the display on the wall behind you, yay for awesome husbands, mmmm good food.... What in the WHAT?

Propositioned by swingers? I didn't see that coming. Um... congrats? I mean, you still should be flattered, right? What did they say? How did you decline? Politely or did you pretend you didn't understand? Or DID you decline?!?

Sounds like some party! Glad you had fun :-)

Erin said...

That was great---cannot believe the stuff about the swingers. Of course, if swingers ever propositioned me/us, I'd be clueless and wouldn't even get that's what was going on....

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE SWINGERS.

Veronica Lee said...

Good for you!!
I love it when I can get dressed up and go out with just hubby and ever since the boys were born, this is a rarity!

jenie said...

as always, no matter how long your post is i cant seem to stop reading ;)

what a nice time you had...and i enjoyed it as much as i read along (well almost haha) especially the "food part" and the "sex part" hihihi

keep posting dear!

Raelene said...

I love your blog. I definitely appreciate your sense of humour!! I've been hanging out here reading since I found your blog through a friend of mine's blog. Thank you for your comment, I am always thankful for a new perspective.

Carri said...

Sounds like a wonderful night was had by all. How funny about the swinging couple. Sounds like a hoot.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails