Friday, November 6, 2009

Where a kid can be a kid

We get our milk from the milk man, whom, I might add, is rather attractive. He gave me a free bottle of lemonade once.



But anyway, the milk comes in nice fragile glass bottles and is delivered weekly. This week, I asked my son to get the milk out of the box for me. He's done it a million (well, several) times. No problem. He got a bit distracted by the neighbor girls (he's already developed a reputation as a "preschool Casanova") and he managed to smash one of the milk bottles on the cement outside the door. Ever had to pick up milk and shattered glass off cement stairs and rotting jack-o-laterns while wearing slippers? Uh huh. It's fun.

The baby was in his high chair, screaming his head off, crying and gasping because I was out of sight. I kept yelling at the kids to stop walking through the glass then stomping through the living room. The girls next door came over to watch the river of milk rushing down the stairs.

"What happened?" they ask. Since they're sweet kids, I refrain from making some smart-ass comment.

Then the phone rings and the shop vac won't work, so I switch it from suck to blow and it blows out a giant wad of hair/dust/nastiness into my face and the baby is still screaming and then I remember the spaghetti on the stove...



And oh, oh, oh! I scrap the edible part of dinner out of the pan, run outside to finish the glass clean up, pat the baby on the head in a nice reassuring manner as I run by him, getting outside just in time to stop Delaney from picking up a piece of glass. I search the garage for the freaking hose that we surely put away before the first freeze so I can wash the milk into the grass (it does a body good) but can't find it. Turns out it's still outside. Sigh. I break the little plastic do-dad that attaches the hose to the spicket, so I get sprayed with nice cold water as I turn it on. I have to vaccuum the living room and pick glass shards out of little shoes. The baby is still screaming. He's a nice shade of red at this point, tears and snot all over his cute little face.

Finally, finally I've got things cleaned up and Baby and I are both panting with exertion. I serve the burned spaghetti to the kids just as my husband gets home. He sits down and joins us. He takes a few bites, then pauses.

"Um..." hesitates, because he knows if he insults my dinner he will find himself enrolled in a cooking class. "Um...this tastes...well, um, did you use a different sauce?"

Nope. It's just blackened. It's gourmet. Hush up and eat it.

But that's nothing compared to what I have to do in a few hours...I have a party to go to with my son. Where a kid can be a kid.



Oh, God. Someone break a bottle of milk, would ya please??

43 comments:

Christie O. said...

OHMYGOODNESS talk about a string of unfortunate events! Total chaos! It is only because something insane happenning triggers other insanities. Happens here all the time. Now that looks like some yummy spaghetti!

Have fun at the Mouse House! The reward of Chuck E. Cheese got my son potty trained! sweet.

ps. we used to have milk bottles when I lived in New York, LOVED THEM! so totally miss them and had no idea they still existed.

Christella said...

That milk man looks good.

Another normal day.

Mrsblogalot said...

Oh to have been a fly on that wall!

Blackened...good one. I'll have to remember it

I think CC's still serves beer. You've so earned it!

....btw, I almost choked on your hide the salami comment (-:!!!
xoxoxoMelyssa

That One Mom said...

Oh Dawn!!! I'm almost in tears... And not of laughter! That is a sucky evening!!! I'm sooo sorry! I'll be sure to think of you tonight as I deal with the drunken karaoke singers.

Willoughby said...

That is a seriously bad day! I hope you will be spending the rest of the weekend relaxing with your feet up. A glass of wine couldn't hurt, either!

Charisse and Holly said...

Somedays it feel like you are cleaning up one mess after the next. You should have made your husband take the kids to CC and you could have stayed home with the milk man. Sorry I wasn't able to give you this advise earlier.
Charisse @
lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

Nezzy said...

Heeeheeeheee! Back in the day when I was in college we had milk delivered in glass bottles by an old crusty geezer who looked nothing like this. Just shock my modesty and grab me a towel cause this farm gal is gonna need a cold shower!

Have a gloriously blessed weekend void of spilled milk, hunks of glass and screammin' babies!

BTW: Could ya'll send me recipe for blackened spaghetti?

Neva said...

Oh boy! I can not believe your day! Hope you got a little shoulder rub that night.

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

A day in the life of a mother, eh? Hope all goes well at the party...

blueviolet said...

That is absolutely unreal! It's such a crazy succession of events and I really, really wish it were on video! Hilarious!!!

Buckeroomama said...

This is funny until it happens to you. Sometimes everything tends to hit all at once, eh? Enough to make me tear my hair out sometimes.

I hope your weekend turns out much better!

CanadianMama said...

Goawd that milkman is so hot!! Sorry, I can't focus on anything else now LOL!

Susan Fobes said...

I know I should be commenting about the dinner and your saintly husband, but I still can't get the picture of your "milk man" out of my mind-and I can't believe anyone still delivers milk like they did when I was a kid! LOL! There will be better days, so go on out and enjoy that cardboard pizza today!

Amo said...

I have had so many days like this one. I'm sorry for the chaos! Ack and yikes! Glass is always a messy and unfortunate clean-up. Hope everyone is now okay!

Holly said...

Oh my...this sounds like one of my days.

We have never had a milk man, but we did have a hot UPS man once!

I like that blackened - it's gourmet...I am going to use that one.

Hope your day got better, but hard to imagine it did if you had to go to the place with the rat! I am so happy we don't live by one.

The Waylaid Wordsmith said...

Oh, man. One of THOSE days. I sincerely hope it got better.

Daffy said...

Hoooha! I was getting ready to log off and caught sight of the photo. I'll happily admit I stuck around just for that photo....LOL so thanks :O)

Man oh man...what a day! I'd take the spilt milk over Chucke Cheese too! Hope you enjoyed a nice adult beverage at the end of the day :O)

manicmum said...

Hah - this was exactly the picture I was looking for to illustrate my 'claggy' story. You should put it on flickr- they didni't have anything this good! XX

manicmum said...

Hah - this was exactly the picture I was looking for to illustrate my 'claggy' story. You should put it on flickr- they didni't have anything this good! XX

manicmum said...

Hah - this was exactly the picture I was looking for to illustrate my 'claggy' story. You should put it on flickr- they didni't have anything this good! XX

manicmum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manicmum said...

Sorry - something strange happened here, or am I repeating myself? Manicmumxx

ShellyInOz said...

Found you on COAH. Thought I would follow, 'cause I can always use a laugh.

Julie said...

I'm sorry, did you say something? hehe...I'll be back expecting more pics like that :)

S3XinthePantry said...

did you use a different sauce?!!?

Your HUBBY is way way better than the milkman!

I love that line!

Melissa said...

Oh my my! It took me awhile to get focused onto your story! Excuse me, what was that about again?!!!

Janie B said...

Sorry about that bad day. Sounds traumatic for everyone.

I need a milkman like the one pictured. Ahem...

I had a bad day yesterday...backed into my daughter's car. Oops!

panamamama said...

Thanks for making me smile on a Monday morning! That is one cute milkman...
And to think you had to endure the mouse afterwards...

Sissy said...

Now THAT was funny! Isn't that how every day is for you? Cuz that's how it is for me.

Karen said...

Very funny! It's good that we can sit back after those days and laugh about them - eventually anyway!

Elizabeth said...

You have a milkman? I want a milkman.

I could just feel the chaos from reading your post. I'm sure it was nothing like the Chuck-E-Cheese party afterward though.

Amber Page Writes said...

That sounds like hell, indeed. I think I might have been bald by the time that was said and done, had I been in your shoes.

Great post, though.

Debbie said...

Good mercy! Was this your day or a bad sitcom?

Unknown Mami said...

That right there is why sometimes it's okay to cry over spilled milk.

Farah said...

Oh my gosh! That sounds insane! You are definitely hard core to be able to handle that!

btw I stopped by your other blog and all I can say is that your cakes look fantastic!!

Michelle said...

Are you kidding me,...what a day. I can see it all in motion in my head! Too funny. At least it made for great blog material!! Do you ever find yourself while in the midst of drama narrating in your head a blog post. This made for a perfect episode on "Peeling an Orange with a Screwdriver!" Can't wait to tune in next week!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

thank God we ALL have days like this! i always say - just get me thru it so i can get in bed and START OVER AGAIN TOMORROW! ps i think i dated your milkman in the picture there. last night. about 1 am. it could've been a dream though

Kirsty said...

No looking at the heavens and screaming, "SERIOUSLY????" it takes far less for me to do that. I admire your restraint. I would have also been screaming at all children in the vicinity to be quiet SO THAT I CAN CONCENTRATE (attaching the hose to the tap would have been a feat in itself for me, without the extra issues) and my husband would never have had the chance to enter the house before having the whole episode screamed about at him. You're a better woman then I!

Found you on the Obnoxious SAHM Funny Mom Blogs. And you are indeed, a funny mom. I'll be following :)

Organic Meatbag said...

Oh yeah, i look JUST like that when I spill milk on myself!...*sigh*...just kidding...I look more like Ernest Borgnine when I spill milk on myself...

Theta Mom said...

That is the hottest milk man I ever saw! Woo Hoo! BTW, I would love for you to grab the tag and post your Theta Mom list! :)

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

That sounds like a bad bad day. Especially going to Chuck E cheese. Ugh. Does anyone really like that place? And I can't even imagine what that burned spaghetti smelled like.

I hope today was a better day.

Live.Love.Eat said...

OH wow, I want to get my milk in glass bottles too. Holy cow. Is it just where you live that it's offered?

Thanks for sharing in my SITS day a gazillion days ago. Been playing catch up!

jenie said...

can you send over your milk man over here please ;) yummmy! i mean, ehem, the milk! hahha

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