This is actually something I had written awhile back, but I'm recycling it today because it completely sums up how I'm feeling today...Isn't it bedtime yet??
Parenthood may be the most rewarding job in the world, but quite frankly, most of the time it sucks. Really. It’s hard, they make me insane. I love them to death, but they make me want to scream. I walked out to the mail box last night after everyone was in bed and I had to fight the urge to just keep walking. And walking. I get tired of folding socks and underwear and cooking 3 times a day and coming up with creative snacks in between. I get tired of being bossed around by tiny people. I get tired of being so desperately needed. But would I want to be unnecessary? No. But still, I’m tired of changing diapers and wiping bottoms. I’m tired of picking up toys. But then again, I realize how lucky I am to have what I have, to be where I am and how quickly it is all going to pass. I am in the position to help shape these little minds, to watch them grow and become the interesting people they are becoming...but I swear to God, it’s the most tedious, mind-numbing job I’ve ever done. And I used to work in the loan department of a bank...trust me, I know tedious. I think back to the days before I had kids and all the time I squandered doing nothing. Nothing. All the writing I could have done and didn’t. Now I would love to have a half hour, uninterrupted, to work on my writing. To take a bath without little pairs of eyes peering around the shower curtain. To take a shower without an audience. Then I look up at Nick, who right now is intently cutting the hair off his play-doh creations and I can’t help but smile. I can’t imagine, nor would I want to, my life without them. Then there is the crushing guilt I feel for feeling like I feel. And the guilt I feel when I can’t, or don’t want, to play Candyland or push them on the swings. Being a parent is to suffer from a constant inferiority complex, to constantly feel like you aren’t doing enough, or doing it right. To feel guilty because deep down, you know you could be doing more, like playing with your son and the play-doh rather than typing nonsense on the computer...but you don’t want to.
All you really want to do is go to sleep.