Monday, October 12, 2009

Forget the bad mommy...I'm a BAD WIFE!

I have always believed that if you don't have enough money to pay the bills, you may as well take what you have and go shopping.

Finally, my husband has come to see the logic in this and for the first time in 7 years, my husband and I spent a night outside of our house.

We took some of our meager funds and went up to Estes Park for the weekend with the kids. We reserved a room at a hotel with a pool, borrowed my brother's annual pass to the Rocky Mountain National Park and headed up the canyon.

I may have mentioned that I get carsick. And the drive up the canyon is horrible without my Dramamine. My husband stopped at a gas station and got me some and used to the chewable kind, I dump a few out, pop them in my mouth and chew them up. And immediately start wretching and gagging. Turns out they weren't chewable. And after the performance I put on, just try to get two little kids to take can't just stick the pills in a hot dog, shove it in their mouth and blow in their face like you can a dog. No. So, again with the candy bribery thing...several minutes later and lots of spitting, yelling and gagging we were on our way.

Of course, the baby, who is too little for Dramamine, throws up all over himself and the seat. Apparently motion sickness is hereditary. Fortunately, my car is full of paper towels, wipes and kleenex and I cleaned the poor baby up. (He's had a heck of a few days...) We hung around for a bit and since I grew up in Estes Park, I was able to bore my husband and children with stories of my long ago youth.

"See that movie theater? We used to tell my mom we were going to watch a movie and then, sneak quietly into the theater so we wouldn't disturb anyone and then watch the whole movie and there was never alcohol involved. Ever."

"See that Safeway? I was with some friends and we were kicked out of there once...because, ahem, um... lookie! Birdie!"

We watched elk, found some bighorn sheep then headed to the hotel for the evening. We ate a terrible, expensive dinner at the hotel because "Kids eat Free!" (they leave out the "kids eat free because we charge the parent's twice as much!" part.)

A very large,woman in a chef hat stood near our table, manning (no pun'll get it in a minute) the buffet table.

"LOOK AT THAT MAN!" Delaney says, loudly, pointing at her. Ignore it and she will stop, I think.

"LOOK AT THAT MAN!" she says again. I sneak a sideways glance at the chef; she's glowering at our table. Nick decides to be helpful.

"That's not a MAN, Delaney! That's a lady!" "Lady" goes back into the kitchen. We leave restaurant, quickly.

Then we swim and Delaney peed in the hot tub.

We decide it's a good time to head to the room where after much whining, hitting and complaining, I end up sharing a bed with Delaney and the baby, with Nick and daddy in the other. My husband and I share a romantic goodnight kiss across the room and off to sleep we go. I can't help but recall the last time my husband and I shared a hotel room. Our one year anniversary. The sleeping arrangements were, um, closer. And a bit more active.

More of the same the next day, bad food, more boring stories from me, more elk, snow, exploring...all together blissful.

Then at around noon, my husband looks at me.

"Do you realize that the day is half over and no one has mentioned my birthday?" he asks.

Oh. My. God. Oh my God. I forgot my husband's birthday. I forgot it.

Forget the bad mommy thing. I ROCK at being a mommy. I completely SUCK at being a wife.

Or at least, now I'm going to have to...

Which brings me to this:

The lovely Jennie Mac has bestowed this completely awesome award on me. You should go see her. She has one of the best blogs around. I will be handing this award out soon, but right now I have to plan a gourmet dinner for my husband, make some Tiramasu, dust off the lingerie...I'll be making ammends for this oversight for the rest of my life.


Missy said...

Gal, been there and done that once!! I still continue to make up for it....pretty much in the exact same way mentioned LOL....It has been 3 long years ago now. Sad part, my hubby's birthday is only 5 days before Christmas and it totally slipped my mind until his mom showed up with the traditional cookie cake! She rocked as Mom and left me holdin' the bag as sucky wife ;~)
You think the woman would have at least called, hehe...good thing I love her so much.

Molly said...

oh no!! Well, you had to sleep with not one, but two babes the night before, and if they kick like mine do, no wonder you forgot!

Nikki said...

I totally share you philosophy! Good luck making up the birthday thing and great intro into your new blog award. lol..that was great!

Charisse and Holly said...

We all need a great story like this. I have also had so many of those moments. I love Estes park. So beautiful there. It has been years now. Thanks for sharing. If it counts...I think you Rock at everything. Holly at

Rocky Mountain Memoirs said...

I have done that, too, and it is the most horrible feeling! Just think, though, as he gets older, he won't remember that you didn't remember. Ha!

Susan Fobes said...

No wonder he agreed to go away! Well, I know this isn't the same, but I forgot both my mom and dad's birthday this year. (I can't really forget my husbands'-his is only 2 days after my son, so I am usually busy making two cakes.)

Good luck with the make up...

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

Oh no! Well, you can make it up to him when you're alone at home *ahem*.

Ronnie said...

I read the first line of this post and started laughing. What a great philosphy!

Christella said...

That was funny. You could sell that story line to a sitcom. At least you got away.

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I'm laughing my butt off but sympathetic, LOL. And hoping like hell I don't manage to do the same thing later this week for my husband's birthday...he'd never let me live it down.

Good luck making amends!

Janie B said...

Oops! Forgetting is a daily thing with me, but you are too young! Ha! Don't worry...just have fun making it up to him.

MammaMania said...

Oh my goodness! You forgot his birthday!!! I would never live that down. Wow. You probably won't either, I imagine.

Stacey said...

I can't stop laughing. I'm sorry.
Was the trip worth it?

blueviolet said...

That is too funny! I figure by the point I read this, you're back to being termed a good wife! ;)

Unknown Mami said...

I can't believe you forgot! Bad wife.

One Chic Mommy said...

Hilarious!!! I love the way you wrote this story. I like your logic about shopping now if I could just convince the hubby, Lol.
Congrats on the "I give good blog" Award!

Speaking of giving something good, If you make it up to the hubby well enough I am sure he will be hoping you forget his birthday again, Lol!

J. said...

Oh my. I haven't forgotten Mr. NH's birthday yet, (yet being the key word, knowing me it's coming) but we both forgot our anniversary this year... It took until early evening for him to ask what the date was. It sounds like you have the perfect plan to make it up.


Clueless_Mama said...

Oh my goodness! That is so sad and funny!!! I love how you tied everything in. I love the I give good blog award. I love Estes Park, it is so beautiful there. My friends run Paradise Valley up there.

Theta Mom said...

OMG! That title summed it up for you, huh? Love the way you wrote it and congrats on your fab award!

Valerie Reilly said...

Aww, c'mon, he'll forget plenty of valentine's and anniversaries, and get you the necklace you already have. you just beat him to it. it's cool!

more importantly, what's the blowing in the face of the dog trick????

AND WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING OUT MORE???? Ditch them kiddies and go out for cocktails!

- Cheers!

Lunhatikk said...

LOL! I'm sorry, but LOL. Not just what happened but how you write it. I really wish you could find the time to finish your novel! You got me so sucked in with those sample chapters that one time... maybe once the baby is in high school hey? ;)

Still, reading your blog is good enough for now. I love the way you write, have I mentioned that? I think very deserving of your blog award!

Now that I have LOL'd at you watch me forget my hubby's next b'day hahahahaha.

BTW, your trip away sounded wonderful none-the-less, I'd love to hear more of your 'boring' stories of your mispent youth ;)

Neva said...

I could actually change a few details, the names and the places and I would have experienced a trip just like this one! You are not a bad mommy or wifey, you are HUMAN!

Daffy said...

Next time I have to give my daughter medicine I will so think of giving it to her inside a hotdog - I'll be laughing all day at that visual!

Visiting from Leigh vs Laundry - congrats on your award there.


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