Saturday, March 24, 2012

Manscaping

A post from a few years back. Thought I'd pull it out again. 
 
Be forewarned: This post possibly contains material which may be unsuitable for younger viewers. Or something like that.


The other morning I was accidentally listening to a morning show on the radio. Normally, I would flip the station as fast as I could because I hate talk shows of any kind, tv or radio. But the topic was Manscaping and despite myself, I got interested.

Manscaping is a new term for me, although the instant I heard it, I knew what it was. Pretty self explanatory. The definition, anyway. The motivation behind it, not so much. While there is nothing wrong with trimming those nose hairs, do I really want my husband in the bathroom shaving his nether regions? After a long, hard day at work, do I want him to take his truck to the salon (and that's Salon, not saloon) and have his back waxed?

God, no. Why? Because I married a man, not a smooth skinned prepubescent boy. I like some chest hair on my men. A man's arms should not be smoother than mine and I shouldn't feel like I have to shave my legs every frickin' day because I'm worried that my husband's baby smooth legs will be scratched raw by my stubble.


No, no, no. That's just wrong. Wrong, I tell you. And as for his...well, you know...C'mon! I mean, really? Really? Why? One of the callers on the station stated "If you trim the bushes around the tree, the tree looks bigger." Hmmm... to me that's false advertising. Yes? Aren't there men out there that complain that the Wonder Bra is false advertising? Wouldn't that fall under the same category? As a subscriber to the "it's not the size of the tree, but how you use it" school of thought, personally, I really don't care. Are there people out there who really do? Apparently so.

Another caller worked in the medical field and had seen middle school boys shaving below the belt. As soon as that hair would come in, they were shaving it off. She said that it's attributed to the smooth bodied men in advertisements. Ooo la la.


But apparently, these kids see that and think that's what the girls want.

Which means that these 13-14 year old boys are already taking their superman underpants off in the presence of 13-14 year old girls. I don't know about you, but that scares the hell out of me. I didn't even know what a penis looked like when I was 13, let alone formed any opinion on what a boy's pubic hair, or lack there of, should look like. They're little kids, for goshsake.

And this works both ways...One woman called in to say that she was completely "bald down there."



She was into trends, she said, and had everything lasered off. What if the trends change? she was asked. Well, she thought of that she said, but "is that ever something that goes out of style?"  As for me, I'll shave the bikini line for trips to the pool and I do the whole landing strip thing for special occasions but that's about it. I keep maintained, but there are other times when it's like the Congo down there, and I've never had any complaints. Maybe that's because he knows if he does complain, there will be no more safaris. Ever.

And besides, when I get the chance to take a shower, I barely have time to wash my hair, let alone go bushwhacking. Nor do I have the money to pay someone to do it for me.

And so, to sum up this eloquent post, I'll just say a little hair never hurt...





Thoughts?

68 comments:

Flory said...

Whoa! You sure tell it like it is. LOL!

A co-worker of mine was telling me that her teenage son was asking for a razor. He confessed it was to shave the bush around the tree. You know a girl must have suggested it to him. A lot of kids are doing anything they can so long as it's the the "act".

Thanks for stopping by my blog and the follow. I'm following back.

Ladybug Mama said...

LOL. This is hilarious. My husband use to shave the bottom of his legs but that was because he was a swimmer. As soon as he stopped swimming he stopped shaving. I'm with you a little hair never hurt anyone.

Janie B said...

Hilarious! What a crazy world we live in! Why on earth did this fad start? Too much sex going around too soon. Leads to boredom, I guess. Crazy.

Little Miss Muffins Cakes! said...

Oh My Gosh! LOL! I love the "bald down there" followed by the hairless ...ahem... I'll call it a cat to be nice...hahaha! Agreed that our kids are growing up too quickly! Hopefully, God willing, not mine!

Momma Such said...

Ha ha! I was seriously just laughing out loud! My hubby looks over at me and is like, what is so stinking funny?

Susan Fobes said...

Your blog was hilarious! Let's keep our men hairy...

blueviolet said...

We're grown adults and a little hair defines us as such. I don't want a boy in my bed and I don't wanna resemble a prepubescent child either.

Michelle said...

Seriously, this is hysterical. I was just going to pop in and see what was happening in your world,..and then,...this! Thank you so much for being "creative" in your chosen topic! I love being a mom and talking about being a mom and talking about kids and the things kids do and so on,..but this was such a breath of new! I don't want a girly man! He better not spend more time in the shower than I do. To be quite honest here,..I don't really look at "it" all that often. I've seen it before! As long as he knows how to use "it" I don't care what it looks like!

The Waylaid Wordsmith said...

"Otherwise, it's like the Congo down there, and I've never had any complaints. Maybe that's because he knows if he does complain, there will be no more safaris."

Way to have me rolling on the floor! Seriously, I almost woke up the baby. It would have been worth it, though, that was hilarious. :D

I'm with you, I like a little man hair. I like beards, too, which some women seem to really hate. A salon-going husband would certainly freak me right out (not to mention make me look comparatively unkempt).

I have to say, though, my darling husband is a little disturbed by his new lower-back hair, but I think it's the age he associates with it rather than the hair itself, LOL.

Elizabeth said...

You are cracking me up! Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm now following you.

One Chic Mommy said...

That was hilarious! Just what I needed to get the day started in a good mood. Every time I hear the term bushwhacking I will now and forever break into laughter! The... cat, yeah cat, is pretty funny looking. Poor thing I bet it's cold all the time, lol.

Amo said...

I agree with the false advertising. Same thing as the Water bra and the Wonder bra. I've never heard of this new trend, but if my husband started shaving down there, I would be seriously disturbed. Men are supposed to spit and pee in the shower, not shave their pubic hair.

Heather D. said...

I know, me too! I really wanted 3 columns to make the most use of space!

There are a lot of blogs online that help you with how to tutorials - it's amazing what you can do, and I'm sure it's very easy to do too much!!

Susan Fobes said...

(reply to your comment: There's a pretty strong connection with mothers and sons I think. My daughter was in our bedroom too and still sleeps better than my son who never stayed with us. I hope your 1 year old goes down ok when the time comes...
I love this picture too. I wanted to take some shots of the sunflowers the kids planted and my husband had my son and I pose.)

Sissy said...

this post is why I love you :)

Sunday said...

I just read an article in Cosmo about Manscaping last month on my way to a girl's weekend at the beach. I NEVER read Cosmo but we decided we needed some good trash to read as my friend drove so Cosmo it was.
In the magazine was a whole article by a girl (I think she was 22) who does manscaping as her job. Only men. No feline-scaping whatsoever. It was pretty funny...but I do agree that I want my man to be a man and to me that means there better be some leaves on that tree. LOL

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alexis said...

bwahahahaha! love it.

Holly said...

You are killing me! I have such awful images in my mind. Ewwww!

alessandra said...

Hahahahahah
hahaha
hahahah
ha!

Tropical Mum said...

No complaining or no safaris, ever. I love it! I haven't read this one before or the others for that matter, so thanks for bringing them to my attention.

Shelly

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

I like hairy men too and think "manscaping" is ridiculous. Amen to keeping our men hairy!

Visiting from SITS.

Astrid said...

Ew ew ew! I'm thinking that they can keep their "manscaping" away from my man!
LOL!
Happy SITS day!

Tsquared417 said...

LOL!!! I think manscaping is kinda nuts...a little trimming is fine if it's out of control...but geez!! Same goes for women...and I agree, I barely have time to shower let alone worry about all that!

Tortuga said...

Visual images from the movie "40 year old virgin" come to mind thanks to this post! Haha! My man has no hair on his chest, but not because he waxes. That's fine by me. I don't like the idea of shorn nethers, that's just kinda creepy in a pedophile kinda way.

Library Cat said...

My sentiments exactly - hysterical!!

The Random Blogette said...

"Bushwacking!" LOL! That is hilarious! I also agree that I prefer hair down there. Trimming isn't bad, but shaving it all off is not cool. My hubs won't even let me go bald!

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

OMG, I cannot wait until my husband comes home from work so I can tell him about bushwacking in the Congo. You are hysterical.

simplysandi said...

Stopping by from SITS. This is hilarious.

Melissa @ Cellulite Investigation said...

Congos... safaris.. you are hilarious! Please let me know if you're up for writing a guest post for the Cellulite Investigation. We just started a series called "Dear Cellulite" where women write letters to the dreaded blight. Here is a link to more info if you're interested. Hope to hear from you!

"Dear Cellulite..."

Stephanie said...

Definitely happy to know that I'm not the only who doesn't understand why men find the "bare down there" look attractive. Too much work to keep up with, in my opinion!

Marie said...

"Kelly Clarkson"! I loved the "40 Year Old Virgin". When I hear about Manscaping I always think of that scene.

Sarah said...

I LOVE this!! My favorite line - "Maybe that's because he knows if he does complain, there will be no more safaris. Ever." Hahahaha!! I will be giggling about your blog all day...thanks for brightening my day today!!

(PS.. Here from SITS..and I am so glad I stopped by!)

Joann Mannix said...

And think about the itch when it grows back!

Yeah, not for me, either.

And I'm aware of this hairless trend in men and I don't get it either. I like men with hair and muscles, you know "men". If I wanted a prepubescent boy, I'd go after Zac Efron. No, give me a man any day.

Carrie said...

I don't have an issue with some minor trimming. My husband has regularly shaved and trimmed up "down there" because he doesn't like the feeling of all that hair. And he frequently asks me to shave his back for him.

I don't see the appeal in going completely hairless but some minor "manscaping" is fine by me

Sarah said...

A manly man MUST have hair!! I can't imagine the appeal of a hairless man...

Morgan said...

Found you through SITS. You are so funny and so right! I completely agree. I know that I have a big, strong, hairy chested, hairy down there man at home and THAT turns me on. Not the thought of a man with no hair that resembles some 13 year old boy.

gringationcancun said...

Amazing. So glad that someone thinks as I do on this subject!

Also nice to know that not every woman is clean-shaven! I thought I was alone! Whoever invented the bikini can suck it.

Heligirl said...

OK, how scary is that? I about peed reading this. Too much. I'm with you sister. I even had that poster of David Hasselhoff in my room as a kid. Oh man, I have to go fix my makeup. I think it ran I was laughing so hard...

-- Jen (heligirl.com)

SoMo Mom said...

This cracks me up! I just found you from the SITS site. Hope you are enjoying your BIG DAY! Love your site... I will become a follower because I need a good daily laugh in my insane world of plumbing & parenting (oh, I work on a plumbing magazine.) If you get a chance, pop over to my site www.southernmomentum.com. I wrote a post on Vajazzling... ever heard of it? It's sort of like Manscaping ... w/bling! Here is the link http://southernmomentum.com/2010/03/would-you-vajazzle/

Zeemaid said...

*ROFL* my husband and I both were cracking up over this post. You are my kinda people. ;)

It reminded me of this post I had done once with a video in it from you tube regarding the "bush" I thought you might get a kick out of.

http://zeemaid.blogspot.com/2009/09/lets-get-to-know-me-better.html


Happy Sits day!

mperet said...

I'm going to get in trouble at work if I don't stop laughing at this post! You've definitely got a bookmark in my favorites folder. Happy SITS day!

My husband and I separated. The think I'm most dreading about the onset of summer is that I may have to tackle the nether regions with a razor again, and lets just say it has been a long, COZY winter. My cooch resembles something found on a Yeti.

Mary P (Barnmaven)
http://www.barnmaven.typepad.com

chele said...

I will never understand why a straight, "grown" man would feel the need to shave his pubes. That is just wrong on too many levels.

Kristi said...

This was hilarious! However, there were two things in this post that really weren't all that funny and I'm downright concerned.
1. Teenage boys are shaving the bushes around the tree?!? Really? I have a 15 year old son and that really icks me out. lol
2. The Hoff gives me the creeps. I'm not a David Hasselhoff fan. lol

Happy SITS Day to you!

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama

Miss Fit said...

My man, manscapes. His back. I will ask him about down under and if the 'appears bigger' is his motive. LOL!

Lorri Jeanne said...

It doesn't really matter to me either way- but a little hair is good, the sasquatch isn't ;)

Cheryl said...

I have never heard of manscaping until now! But I have to agree with you 100%. Happy SITS day, love your blog.

LivingInspired said...

Too true! My girlfriend once dated a "metro" guy who not only shaved his entire body but went tanning with her. Ick, CREEPY. I like my man nice and hairy! And as for the brazilian? Did it once and we both hated it and just to imagine the upkeep! Stopping by from SITS and having a good laugh.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

This world gets more bizarre every day. Here's my take on it. I think God made "that area" look ugly for a reason and that reason is so we wouldn't go around showing it off! Vajazzling and manscaping to the contrary, it's supposed to be functional, not pretty.

Raising Madison said...

Happy SITS day... this post is hysterical!

Joanna
www.raisingmadison.com

caitysparkles said...

Haha this post is hysterical. I love it so much. I know some men that manscape and I think it's fine. I think it's more pleasurable but that's just me. Smoother is nicer! Maybe I'm strange. Haha.

Laddie said...

Happy SITS day! The post was a nice break from studying

Heather said...

Amen, sister! I have a long-standing rule that I don't date any men who have hair longer than mine or shave more body parts than I do. I hate to compete with my man to see who's more feminine.

Happy SITS day!

modchik said...

I love what you said I tried the was even went for broke with laser - OUCH! it never really disappeared and now I'd rather wear a swim skirt over my bikini and pretend like it isn't even an issue!

Happy SITS day!

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Sandra Tyler said...

Ugh! All I can say. Though to be honest my man is kind of hairless naturally .cthough still love the guy. Visiting from writers3edge hop.

rebecca said...

I am with you sister all the way! I'm old school. I like hair on my men, I think it makes them look sexy. Granted back hair I kinda draw the line at. Would like to be with a man not an ape. And I don't see the attraction in women either wanting to look like they're just going through puberty themselves. I don't get it. I guess cause I'm of a different generation - legs and underarms were our thing.

Pish Posh said...

Well thanks for the pictures! In a way it's time for men to have a little of the body image issues that women have huh? (not really)

I like a little chest hair on my men and I like my men oldschool. Let's just say I like my women (myself) super newschool though. It just feels better.

Here from WOE

smushyfacebaby.com said...

That is hilarious. I agree that men should be men... unless they're David Beckham, who should just always, always walk around in his underwear. :)

Lady Goo Goo Gaga said...

Love this, but I have to say I'd rather have the smooth skinned Chippendales guys than the " hairy "hoff"........

http://lgoogoogaga.wordpress.com/2012/03/25/a-clean-break/

Holly Lefevre said...

This post made me smile...not because I like manscaping...because of your writing. I jut do not get it...I was a little thrown off by David at the end...but I'd take a hairy David over too smooth - a trend I do not get.

Unknown Mami said...

The David at the end is hilarious, so are you.

Carrie Lynne said...

way too funny..

Dawn M said...

HAHAHA
I love honest people like you! So many good one liners in this post! You need a tvs show! "no more safaris!" lol!

my husband actually has those superman undies. My son picked them out for him for christmas! haha

I agree, I want a man, not a smooth, cleaner than me man!

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