Ok, first post. I’m starting this for many reasons. Mainly selfish ones, obviously, but also on theoff chance that something I’ve learned the hard way might make something a bit easier forsomeone else. There’s also the fact that my doctor recommended I speak to a counselor as part of the management plan for my major depressive disorder. And I’m not a talker. I’m a writer. I felt like this might be a viable alternative.
A little about me...I know there is an “About Me” segment on the profile, but apparently I am too wordy, so I’ll expand a bit here. I am a happily (well...most of the time) married, stay at home mom with a one year old, a 2 year old and a 5 year old. Some days are blissfully happy and I find myself effusively thanking the powers that be. Other days I want to crawl behind the couch, curl up in a little ball and cry. But then I look behind the couch and find that missing sippy cup of milk, lid off, congealed and stinky, stiffening the carpet. Then the baby starts crying because I'm out of sight, my toddler takes her poopy diaper off in the hallway and the oldest thinks it might be a good idea to slide down the stairs on a piece of cardboard. And I find myself wishing it wasn't noon so I could have that glass of red wine. But alas, I cannot drink with my antidepressant and besides, it's time to make lunch for three kids who are going to complain no matter what I make. “Can't we just have ice cream?" they’ll whine. And actually I would alsoreally like a nice big bowl of ice cream, but since I'm trying to be the grown up here, I make sandwiches instead. I'll just sneak some candy when they aren't looking...Smarties, preferably. Or a nice Snickers bar.
I have days when getting out of bed, for my neurotic mind, is as monumental as climbing Everest. There are days when I’m sure I’m not going to make it.
But I’m still here. And I think I’ll be here tomorrow. So I’m going to try and make the best of it.