Twas the Day AFTER Christmas...

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Were messes like fires, waiting to be doused.
The Christmas stockings lay limp on the floor,
The toys that filled them have already begun to bore.

Children are screaming and crying, coming down from a Christmas sugar high,
Brownies, pie and candy galore. (I had cookies for breakfast, I can't deny.)
The kids are still in their new pajamas, hair all a mess. And yes, so is mine;
I wonder if breakfast is too soon for wine?

Sub zero temps, outside the wind is howling, blowing snow against the window pane,
Would it be child abuse, I wonder, to put them outside so that I may remain sane?
Or perhaps, early to sleep, so no one else will hear me weep
In frustration at the pile of dishes in the sink.

There is potato mashed in the chairs and dried gravy spots on the floor,
Even the old dog has stopped begging for more.
The house was full of people; of children alone there were a dozen,
Now there's chocolate and snot smeared across the sofa; thank you sick cousin.

The toys that were begged for, Santa brought the right type!
Yet, it seems that they do not live up to the hype.
I can see another meltdown is in sight, a new toy is already broken,
Calm down, maybe we can fix it, I say, but I may as well not have spoken.

Duplicate items, purchased by well meaning wishers are stacked neatly by the door,
Another item on my growing to-do list, awaiting their return to the store.
Ball poppers, transformers and Whack-a-Mole,
Gifts that are truly good for the soul.



Torn wrapping paper and instructions to read, more batteries to buy,
Another trash bag is filled as I heave a great sigh.
Now it's time for lunch and in my mind, I see a tasty turkey sandwich,
But before I eat, I have to clean the kitchen. And I know I shouldn't bitch...



Because it's a time for sharing, a time for love, a time for giving...
A time to re-evaluate the way we've all been living.
But I'm glad Christmas has gone and family drama can fade
Although with it, I wish it would've taken the mess it made.
I drank enough this year that in-laws weren't an issue
And holiday stress? I have to say I won't miss you.



But to you and yours, I hope you all were in good cheer!
Here's to a Happy New Year!








And this is why family holiday pictures should be taken before the end of the evening.

Belle-Doche...(thank you UberGrumpy!)

The title of this post is courtesy of UberGrumpy. Go see him. He's hilarious. But he informed me that belle-doche is French slang for "mother in law" and I quite like the sound of that.

Ok...so step mother in law called me the other day. It was not pleasant. I will spare you the details. But her daughter actually called me to apologize for the way her mother treated me and my father in law offered my husband $100 to go out and buy me a Christmas present.

Example? Part of the conversation I was lectured because she had to call my sister in law to get my kids sizes because my husband hadn't gotten back to her soon enough. Ok. Think about that. She called my SIL for my kids sizes. Not me. And it's apparently my fault? Obviously she knows my number. I won't get into the rest because it will quickly turn Jerry Springer-ish and I don't have time for the drama right now. As it is, 'tis the season for drama. I don't need more.

But the point of this post? She called and left a message for me to call her back. Is she going to yell at me again? Lecture me some more? Apologize? I don't want her to apologize because then, unless I want to cause more drama, I have to accept and pretend that all is well. When it is absolutley not. Then she will be here for Christmas and I'll have to smile and be polite. And I've noticed that the older I get, the less I care about keeping up fronts. I don't really want to cause a scene in front of my kids. But secretly, that's exactly what I'd like to do.

I ask my sage husband for advice and he tells me to call her back. Which I know. I was just looking for permission not to. Husbands can be so dense.

So I call. And someone picks up the phone, then click...hmmmmmmmmmm. Wha...?!? What!? Did she hang up?? What!?

Now what?

Sunday in my house!

It's been a few weeks since I joined Unknown Mami's Sunday in my City, so I thought today I'd show off some of my random Christmas decorations. Which are technically in my city, right? Right.

My very favorite Christmas decoration is the nativity that my dad actually started when he was little. He'd buy a piece every Christmas and then decorate it with glitter. It makes me laugh to think of my big, burly, Harley owning father as a little boy, painting glitter on little nativity angels. But I decided not to put it up this year. The baby is at that age where everything is game and I would be heart broken if any of the pieces were broken. Besides, I'm sure they're coated in paint with dangerous levels of lead. So, maybe next year. Or the year after that. Or the one after that.

Anyway, on to the child safe decorating of this year...


The stockings hung on the bookcase with care and the tree...where are all the decorations are at least two feet up from the bottom of the lowest branches. Now that baby has discovered that he can crawl up on the sofa to access the ornaments, that side of the tree is now completely bare.


This is "my room". It's my favorite in the house, even when it's not decorated for Christmas (although the lights do improve the ambience a bit). This is the room where all my favorite things are.


The lights on the railing. For some reason the top half flashes. Sometimes it doesn't. I can't figure it out and it drives me nuts.


The Christmas card my son made me at school.


The tree decorations my son made and stuck to the bookcase. (And the Holy Bible and Tom Sawyer.)


The alien gingerbread ornament Nick made at school.


Peace man, peace


The Rudolph my mom made. The kids like to take it apart and connect the knee bone to the antlers and the neckbone to the feet...

And there you have it. Now, head on over to Unknown Mami's place and see what everyone else is doing!

Let's help her out!

A great blogger When Did I Become My Mom is in the running for a great prize on the Parenting By Dummies blog!

Let's all run over and cast our vote for her! Her card is the first one! (And rightly so!)

Well, that's not very funny

I've been trying to write for a couple of days but I couldn't seem to hang on to any one train of thought long enough to make a coherent post.

First, I was going to write a bit about my financial woes. I've tried to keep that part of my life out of my blog, simply because it's boring and really, who wants to hear about my money problems? We all have our own problems to deal with. But it's been front and foremost on my mind and I haven't really been able to concentrate on much else.


Then I heard about the blogger Shellie Ross, who twittered about her son drowning and the controversy surrounding that. Suddenly my money problems were nothing compared to what she was going through. I can't imagine anything more difficult than losing a child. I read some of the posts regarding the fact that she put it on Twitter and was a bit surprised by how aggressive some of them were. Who are we to judge her methods of reaching out for support?

I found myself extremely thankful for what I have, despite the guy at the front door with the order to shut off our water, despite the threat of foreclosure and repossession. I shut the computer down and joined my kids on the floor in the living room. Life happens so fast and all it takes is a second for it to all end. Sometimes it's hard to shut off the past, to stop worrying about tomorrow and just live in the moment.

My kids are so excited about Christmas, counting down the days on the calendar. Sitting by the tree, staring wistfully at the brightly wrapped packages beneath it. They have no idea what how stressful picking those presents were, or how close to tears they brought me. Standing in the aisle of the store, I was so dejected. Even the stocking stuffers, the tiniest little toys were $5-6 dollars. Multiply that by the three kids and I was over my limit in no time.


And I know that there are kids in third world countries without water, I know that there are kids starving in ours, but these are my kids. And I want them to be happy. I want to see their faces light up when they tear off that paper. And yes, I know that it's not all about the toys and the presents, but right now, they're so little and innocent and before long they're going to be bearing the weight of the world. Why not offer them a little whim and whimsy while it's all that it takes to make them happy? Yes, I know that buying fewer gifts and donating what's left can contribute to solving the world's lack of clean water (thank you facebook status updates for that; for one more reason to feel like a lousy human being). But the thing is, there isn't anything left, there wasn't anything there to begin with. So, I skip a few payments so I can see my kids excitement on Christmas day. Maybe that finds me losing myself in the commercialism of the season. Maybe it's because I've erred in raising my children, maybe they're too greedy and I'm feeding it.

It is what it is.

Then last night my mother in law called me.



But that's a whole other post. Suffice to say, if I have to talk to her ever again, it will be too soon.

Hmm...I apologize if you made it this far. I can't imagine that was a lot of fun.

But I sure feel better.

WOO HOO!!

Woo hoo! I won! I actually won! The Wii Fit Plus is mine! YAY! I can't even tell you how excited I am to have won this. I never win anything. I won a turkey once, but this is WAY better! Yay! YAY!

Thanks to everyone who commented and liked the letter! I love reading your comments! And thank you so, so much to Chocolate Covered Daydreams for hosting this contest! It was a lot of fun. And I won!

Did I mention that already? Hee hee...I'm delirious with joy.

Letter to my younger self

I desperately want a Wii fit. But I can't afford one. So, in an effort to win the giveaway that Chocolate Covered Daydreams is hosting,I wrote a letter to my younger self. This is my entry...


Dear Younger Self,

Ok, first off, I wanted to tell you that it gets better. Really it does. French kissing is not supposed to make you want to throw up. I think it had something to do with the food in his mouth. If it makes you feel any better, you never kiss him again and believe it or not, in a few years, you will find yourself in a constant lip lock with one particular member of the opposite sex (no, you don’t know him yet) and you will like it. A lot. No worries there. (So yes, you do like men. But let's try to not like them quite so much, ok?)

About the move...I know that right now, you feel like it’s the most terrible thing mom and dad can do to you. But trust me, it will be a very good thing. I promise. You will meet a lot of amazing new people; people that will change your life forever. (And anyway, in several years “social networking” will be all the rage. Someone will invent a thing called “facebook” and you’ll be able to reconnect to all the people you left behind. And raise pigs and join the mafia, but I digress.) At the new school you’ll meet the girl who will become your very best friend (and one of your favorite people to this day). You also meet the kissing boy that I mentioned.

I’m not going to lie and say it will all be rainbows and kittens. You will have a few issues to contend with, but they will all leave you with a better understanding of your fellow human and a better understanding of yourself. And despite the cliche, they really do make you a better person.

But just a tip..do not “go out” with the first guy that asks you. It’s a mistake. Trust me. Oh, and while in the locker room, always, always make sure that the locker above you is closed before standing up. It will save you a trip to the nurse. Also, always make sure that the hem of your skirt is not tucked into your panties when leaving the restroom. That will save you quite a bit of embarrassment.

I’d like to tell you to not take that “year” off from college, because you don’t end up going back. But I know if you had gone back, you wouldn’t have got the job you did, you wouldn’t have met the man you married and you wouldn’t have had your three beautiful kids. And I have to tell you, where you are now is a great place to be. I wouldn’t trade it fer all the edukashon in the world.

But I will tell you that when someone close confides in you, do not betray that confidence. It will be something you regret for the rest of your life.

I want you to know that you’re doing ok. You really are. Looking back, I’m proud of the girl you are, the girl that I was. I’d have changed the hairstyle and dumped a few of those outfits (the whole sock-with-pantyhose-hiking-boots-skirt look should have gone, same with that off the shoulder denim top you used to like so much) but really, all in all, you’re going to be ok. You’re going to infuriate your parent’s with some of your choices. They will have been right to doubt you, but I’m not going to tell you not to make them. You’ve learned something valuable from every single one of those decisions. They’ve made you who you are today. And really, that’s not a bad thing. Of course, it would nice to not have all those negative signs in the checkbook. So, you know, if you get a chance, you could learn a little bit about money laundering or something. Just kidding.

Sort of.

Anyway, enjoy each day because it will fly by. One day you’ll wake up and your own children will be screeching at you for something or another and you’ll pause and thank your mom for not beating you as a child. After you have kids, you’ll see what an herculean effort that took.

And believe it or not, your brother is going to be one of your best friends. So don't throw that chunk of concrete at him, ok?

See you soon.

Love,

Your Older (wiser, better looking, more stylish) Self